A&e. Do New York: The Blair Witch Project Premiere
July 12, 1999
I. Getting There is Half the Fun
En route to NYC with Yahoo travel directions - hm,
haven't we been driving to a TBWP premiere with bad Yahoo directions before?
They don't say "go through the Lincoln Tunnel," they say "Take Route 3
to 495 East for 5.3 miles" (495 pretty much is the Lincoln Tunnel, but
God forbid they should say that). The best part is when we're coming out
of the tunnel and trying to follow the directions by going to 34th St.,
but we're in the wrong lane, so we cross a double white line to get in
the right lane, and a cop immediately pulls us over. Oops. But we don't panic. Things seem to work out when A&e. do Haxan stuff.
The cop is right out of Central Casting ("Okay,
Sal, we want a very overweight middle-aged white man who's extremely bitter
about being stuck in traffic patrol at the Lincoln Tunnel at rush hour
and pulling over snotty suburbanites in Beemers and Lexuses and SUVs who
think they can break traffic laws right and left just so they can get back
to Hoboken a few minutes earlier while I've got to sit here in this patrol
car inhaling the exhaust fumes and counting the days till I can retire
and start pulling in my pension, which is the only goddamn reason I took
this goddamn job in the first place, and hey, you, in the Saab with the
Delaware plates, don't they have goddamn double white lines in Delaware?
And can you drive across them there? No, I didn't think so. License
and registration, please.") So at least it's a quintessential New York
experience. And we also pull off the "lost out-of-towners with bad directions"
look pretty well - since it's completely true - and he lets us off without
a ticket. We breathe a big sigh of relief and head for 34th Street.
Despite the bad directions, we find the Beekman
Theater without further incident. The fun part is getting changed
into our premiere finery in the back of the car - and taking all the stuff
out of the backseat and stowing it in the trunk, for parking purposes.
A. has been wearing the appropriate undergarments for her gown all day
(real comfy for sitting in a car for two hours) so at least she doesn't
flash the entire Upper East Side - but hey, isn't this supposed to be the
city where people don't look at anything? She stuffs everything we
think we need for the night in her Hi-8 camera bag, and e. drops her off at
the theater and goes in search of a non-scary parking garage....
Part II - The Press
of the Press
